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Yes, Ihad been wearing my mother's clothes, but I wasn't ready to admit tomyself or anyone else that I really wanted to be a woman. Sure, Ithought about it. As a matter of fact, I thought about it constantly,but I always wrote it off as some weird fantasy. Fantasies aren'tsupposed to come true. That's what makes them different than goals andaspirations. I certainly didn't aspire to be a woman. I was happybeing a boy. I had a good life as a boy and I certainly wasn't gay.No, I wasn't gay. I'd never been with another boy and didn't fantasizeabout being with other boys. However, I often fantasized about being awoman, and as that woman, I also fantasized about having sex a man.Passionate, amazing sex, where I was beautiful and alluring and he wasa handsome, caring, well-endowed partner. I didn't think of that asbeing gay. It just meant that my two most detailed, erotic fantasieswent together. Naturally, like peanut butter and jelly."I found some things on the computer, Darren,". "Let's start off with the rudimentaries, walking." She left with my mother in tow. And Tina approached and said, "Let's get you started."She went in the stable and came out with a beautiful chestnut. "Your first lesson will be learning how to walk the animal." She walked the animal around high stepping on her toes until she completed the circle."Now you try." I thought it was kind of stupid but I grabbed the reins and petted the horse, talking to it, making sure we were friends. Then I took the reins and began walking around in a circle with it. All the time Tina was saying that I had to know how the horse thought and how the horse felt before I could ride. She kept it up telling me to lift my knees, stay on my toes; all I wanted to do was ride the horse, not be one.Then I felt a sting on my backside and I turned and saw Tina with a quirt in her hand, "Hey, that stung." "Knees up, head up, toes pointed." I stopped and put my hands on my hips, just as she raised the whip again. "Don't.
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